Metahuman Groom
by Books-R-Better-Than-People
Summary: After a wedding rehearsal ends badly, Richie runs off to practice his vows to Frieda, but instead finds herself married to a Bang Baby named Static Shock
1. According To Plan

**Richie Foley, a young boy no older than seven teen sits in his room sketching a picture of a butterfly in his book with incredible details, using a blue butterfly in a mason jar for reference. After he has completed the sketch, he unscrews the cap of the jar and releases the butterfly. The calmness he felt when sketching left when he remembered he had to participate in a wedding rehearsal with a total stranger in one hour. He looked out the window to clear his mind, looking at the town of Dakota and its people. He saw a girl around his age walking around with her head held high as if she were the most important girl in the world. She has on a gray long-sleeve shirt, a pink skirt just a few inches over her knees, and black flats. ****She turns her attention over to the Foley Mansion off in the distance from the town square, a wicked grin forms on her face. Just watching her made a chill run down Richie's spine.** **His attention turns to the Town Cryer**

Town Cryer: Here ye, here ye, 10 minutes to go

till Foley's wedding rehearsal.

**The anxiety rushes back when he sees the limo pull up to the front, being driven by a young boy, about eighteen. His parents then stepped out in formal wear just for this day, smiling brightly**

Maggie: _It's a beautiful day_

Sean: _It's a rather nice day_

Maggie: _A day for a glorious wedding_ **She pulls out a hand fan as Sean places a shawl over her shoulders**

Sean: _A rehearsal, my dear_

_To be perfectly clear_

Maggie: _A rehearsal for a glorious wedding_

Sean: _Assuming nothing happens_

_That we don't really know_

**Glancing down, Maggie notices a puddle where she needs to walk, and looks to Dwayne for assistance. He nods, and pulls out a cloth to place over the puddle so Maggie may cross**

Maggie: _That nothing unexpected_

_interferes with the show_

Sean/Maggie: _And that's why everything_

_Every last little thing_

_Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing_

_Must go_

**Maggie straightens Dwayne's clothes, making sure that everyone is perfect for when they arrive at the Goren's mansion for the rehearsal**

Maggie: _According to plan_

Sean: _Our son will be married_

Maggie: _According to plan_

Sean: _Our family carried_

Sean/Maggie: _Elevated to the heights of society_

Maggie: _To the costume balls_

Sean: _In the hallowed halls_

Maggie: _Rubbing elbows with the finest_

Sean: _Having crumpets with Her Highness_

Sean/Maggie: _We'll be there, we'll be seen_

_Having tea with the queen_

_We'll forget everything_

Maggie: _That we've ever, ever been_

**Dwayne helps Maggie into the limousine, then becomes worried as she took a seat and Sean joins her**

Maggie: Where is Richie? We might be late if he doesn't show up on time

**Hearing that from his bedroom window, Richie straightens his blue jacket, and quickly leaves his room to make his way to the limousine**

**Across town from the main square, Arthur and Danica Goren see through binoculars that the Foleys are waiting for their son to join them in the limousine so they can make their way to their mansion**

Danica: They seem like a lovely family...

_It's a terrible day_

Arthur: _Now, don't be that way_

Danica: _It's a terrible day for a wedding_

Arthur: _It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in_

Danica: _That has led to this ominous wedding_

Arthur: _How could our family have come to this?_

Danica/Arthur: _To marry off our daughter_

_To the nouveau riche_

Danica: _Then there's the Spaulding girl_

_Oh, it couldn't be worse_

Arthur: _Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree_

_They could be land-rich,_

_Bankrupt aristocracy_

**He opens a safe embedded in the wall, and finds nothing but dust and cobwebs**

_Without a penny to their name_

_Just like you and me_

**Running a finger through the dusty safe, Danica lets out a sigh and calls a maid over to dust the inside**

Danica/Arthur: _And that's why everything_

_Every last little thing_

_Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing_

_Must go_

**As they leave the room, a butler places a portrait of a Goren ancestor over the vault. They walk down a long hallway, covered with portraits of their ancestors, and make their way to one in particular**

Danica: _According to plan_

Arthur: _Our daughter will wed_

Danica: _According to plan_

Arthur: _Our family led_

Danica/Arthur: _From the depths of deepest poverty_

Danica: _To the noble realm_

Arthur: _Of our ancestry_

**Standing by the portrait they seek, a girl of seventeen years, with long brown hair and light brown eyes. Danica places a gentle hand on her daughter's portrait**

Danica/Arthur: _And who would have guessed_

_in a million years_

_That our daughter with a face_

Arthur: _Of one never in disgrace_

Danica/Arthur: _Would provide our ticket_

_To a rightful place_

**In his bedroom, a maid is helping the young Goren heir get ready for the rehearsal. Her parents are having her wear a red dress over black tights, and black boots. Frieda lets out a sigh and pours her heart out to the maid**

Frieda: What if Richie and l don't like each other? I mean, we don't even know each other that well, and-

**Before she can reply, a voice is heard from the doorway**

Danica: Frieda, sweetie. I'm sure Richie will love you. **She places her hands on her shoulders in a tender loving way**

Arthur: And remeber dear, it's for the sake of the family.

**Frieda sighs in defeat, and nods**

Frieda: Okay, guys. **She smiles**

**Richie walks out of the manor and into the limousine, sitting across from her parents as Dwayne drove the Foleys to the Goren mansion**

Sean: You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Rich.

Maggie: Now, all you have to do is reel her in.

Richie: l'm already reeling, mom. Shouldn't Frieda be marrying a rich lord or something?

Maggie: Oh, nonsense! We're every bit as good as the Gorens. Who knows? She may just love you back.

Richie: But l've never even spoken to her.

Sean: Well... You have that in common. **He tries to lighten the mood, but it doesn't work**

**Back at the Goren mansion, Arthur and Danica stand at the top of the stairs hand in hand as a butler dusts the rails, they away the arrival of their guests**

Danica: _Marriage is a partnership, a beautiful bond._

_You'd think a lifetime watching us_

_Might have taught her that_

_Might have taught her that_

Arthur: _Everything must be perfect_

Arthur/Danica: _Everything must be perfect_

_Everything must be perfect_

**Around 6:00, the Foleys arrive at the manor, Dwayne wishes Richie luck**

Sean/Maggie/Arthur/Danica: _Perfect_

_That's why everything_

_Every last little thing_

_Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing_

_Must go_

_According to plan_


	2. The Vows

**After they ring the doorbell, the butler answers the door allowing the Foleys to enter**

Danica: Sean, Maggie, welcome!

Maggie: Thank you for having us. **She gets a look around the room** Oh, such grandeur! Such impeccable taste!

**Danica notices Richie standing behind his parents with his hands behind his back, looking nervous**

Danica: Why, you must be Richie. **She nudges Sean in a playful manner** I can see where he gets his looks from. **Sean laughs along with her**

Richie: So, um. Where's Frieda? **He looks around, noticing that it's only the two parents**

Arthur: She's still getting ready, dear. She'll be down soon. For now, we'll be having tea in the west drawing room.

**Arthur and Danica lead the Foley's to said room, but Richie stays behind to marvel at a large white piano. Making sure no one is around to hear, he plays a few keys, which then later then into a song. Unknown to him, Frieda hears the music being played from upstairs. She slowly approaches him until she just stood behind him, taking in the beautiful melody**

**Sensing that he's not entirely alone, Richie glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with Frieda for the first time. Realizing he had been playing the family's piano, he quickly stands up, and apologizes**

Richie: Oh! I'm sorry. I-I just saw the piano, and I-

**Frieda laughs, assuring him that it's okay**

Frieda: You play beautifully.

Mother won't let me near the piano. Says I'll damaged her eardrums **She laughs at her joke, and Richie nervously laughs along **She's not wrong, though. I can't play to save my life.

Richie: So... Is there anything I need to know, Lady Goren?

Frieda: Perhaps, in view of the circumstances, you could call me Frieda. She encourages him to be less formal

Richie: Yes, of course. Well Frieda...

Tomorrow, we are to be married.

Frieda: Yep. Married. Since l was a child, l've dreamt of my wedding day. l always hoped to find someone l was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with... Silly, isn't it?

Richie: No! No, not at all, no. Honestly, I've had the same thoughts...

**Smiling at each other, they lovingly gaze into each other's eyes and forget the world around them. Frieda slowly leans in, but Richie remains still. They hear the door to the west drawing room open and find their mothers standing in the doorway with teasing smiles on their faces**

Maggie: I knew you two would hit it off!

**Glancing back at each other, they blush and look around awkwardly, with Frieda twirling the ends of her hair, and Richie rubbing the back of his neck**

Danica: Now, now, you shouldn't be alone together. Here it is, five minutes before rehearsal, and you're standing here, flirting... Save it for later **She winks**

Pastor Hawkins is waiting. Come on.

**Lead by their very excited mothers, the two enter the room and meet the pastor, Richard Hawkins, standing behind a table. It goes along well with Frieda saying her vows flawlessly, however, when the time came to say his vows, Richie either forgot them, said something else, or stuttered.**

**In the first hour of trying to get Richie to say his vows correctly, Robert had been patient. Then another hour came, Sean feel asleep, Arthur was struggling to keep his eyes open, Maggie and Danica are on their phones, and Richie had become greatly annoyed whenever he had to repeat what Richie has to say for his vows since he's pretty much repeating Frieda said**

Robert Hawkins: Master Foley, from the beginning. **He lets out a heavy sigh** Again.

'With this hand, l will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for l will be your wine. With this candle, l will light your way in darkness. With this ring, l ask you to be mine.''

Richie: Yes. Yes, sir. With this candle. This candle. This candle.

Robert: **He rests his head in his hand** Take your time, Richie.

Richie: With this candle...

**Before Richie can say another word, the doorbell rings loudly, making Mr. Hawkins more annoyed, and causing the parents to look up in surprise**

Robert: **He pinches the bridge of his nose** Somebody get the door.

**The butler leaves the room to answer the door, and in a minute, he returns with a young girl at his side. Richie recognizes her as the girl walking through town square**

Danica: Lady Madelyn. You're here earlier that we expected.

Madelyn: l haven't a head for dates. Apparently, l'm a day early for the ceremony.

Arthur: Danica, is she from your side of the family?

Danica: l can't recall. Emil, a seat for Lady Madelyn, please.

**The butler fetches a seat, and placed one right behind Madelyn. She sits, and crosses her legs. Richie and Frieda look at her, confused. She just gives a wave of her wrist, ushering them to continue**

Madelyn: Do carry on.

Robert: Let's just get to the rings.

Frieda: Yes, sir. Of course.

**Robert instructs Frieda to take out the ring and slip it on Richie's finger. As Frieda took a hold of his hand, Richie couldn't get his anxiousness to settle. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He just had to marry Frieda, the soon to be love of his life... At least that's what everyone had been telling him. He honestly didn't know if he even liked Frieda**

**Sure, she's beautiful, but just not who Richie had in mind to marry. Meanwhile, his hand was trembling non-stop, causing him to accidentally smack the ring out of Frieda's hand, sending it bouncing on the floor. Richie murmurs a quick apology and tries to catch the ring, while dropping his candle on Danica's dress. Soon, a small fire spreads on her dress**

Madelyn: Dropping the ring and starting a fire. Well done.

Robert: There's a woman on fire!

Danica: Help!

**Sean tries to fan the flames out, but it doesn't work**

Danica: Stop fanning it! It's only spreading!

**Madelyn grabs a goblet filled with red wine and dumps it on Danica's dress, instantly putting out the fire**

Robert: Alright, I'll be blunt... This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared! **He points to Richie, then turns to him with a serious, yet at the same time, comforting expression**

Young man, learn your vows.

**Richie turns and runs out the Goren mansion, needing practice his vows, and clear his head**

Madelyn: ... Well, he's quite the catch, isn't he?


	3. You May Kiss The Groom

**Later that night, Richie stands on the bridge, leaning against the stone railing, and looking at his somber reflection in the water, and thinking about the embarrassing events that took place at the rehearsal**

Richie: Oh, Frieda. She must think l'm an idiot. This day couldn't get any worse.

**Oh, he couldn't be more wrong**

Town Cryer: Hear ye, hear ye! Rehearsal in ruins as Foley child causes chaos!

Gorens all fired up as Foley disaster ruins rehearsal!

**Richie sighs at the reminder, and crosses the bridge, then makes his way into the woods **

Richie: lt really shouldn't be all that hard. lt's just a few simple vows.

With this hand, l will take your wine...

No. **He continues walking deeper into the woods** With this hand l will cup your-- **He realizes what he said and cringes**

Oh, God, no!... With this... With this

With this candle, l will... l will set your mother on fire. **He kicks a tree in anger** Oh, it's no use! Why can't I just say the stupid vows?! Is it me?... Is it her? I want to marry her, at least... I think I do...

**He clears his head, and tries again with determination**

Richie: With this hand, l will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty,

for l will be your wine.

With this candle, l will light your way in darkness! With this ring **He takes the ring off of his finger**

l ask you to be mine.

**As he places the ring on the hand-like branch, thunderous clouds take over the clear skies. The air around Richie becomes tense and he suddenly can't move, but he soon snaps out of it when a lightning bolt hits the branch, and when he looks again, the branch is gone, along with the ring**

Richie: No!

**He frantically searches the ground, then suddenly, he hears a crack from behind him. He turns around and is met with an unexpected sight. Leaning against a tree, stood a boy the same age as him. His hair is black, a blue visor rests on his forehead, and a white mask over his eyes. His outfit consisted of a black shirt with a yellow lightning bolt symbol accompanied with black pants held up by a yellow belt, a black trench coat with the inside yellow, blue boots with yellow straps, and blue fingerless gloves**

**His appearance captivated him, and as Richie was about to speak, the mystery boy turns to him, and his eyes glow an almost blinding white light. He speaks...**

I do...

**Richie realizes that he is a Bang Baby, a mutant turned this way by an incident that happened months ago in Dakota. He runs out the woods, worried of what he'll do**

**The Bang Baby casually follows him. Richie would look back every ten seconds to find him still following. He trips over a root, causing him to fall to the ground. As he gets up, he finds the Bang Baby still there, and takes off, finally making it out of the woods. When he makes it back to the bridge, Richie checks his surroundings, seeing no one. He sighs with relief and turns to head back to town, only to find the Bang Baby right in front of him**

**Blindingly bright lightning surround the two as the Bang Baby wraps his arms around Richie in a gentle embrace**

Bang Baby: You may kiss the groom...

**The Bang Baby leans in to give him a wedding kiss, Richie first kiss. The lightning fades away, they're no longer standing in the bridge**


	4. Static’s Story

**By the time Richie regained consciousness, he was greeted by unfamiliar faces staring down at him.  
One spoke up, a short girl with blue skin, purple eyes, and a purple winter jacket- Permafrost**

Permafrost: A new arrival!

**The next one spoke, a boy in his teens with a red beanie, a yellow shirt with a purple jacket, and red pants- Boom**

Boom: Boy must've fainted.

**Another girl checked to see if he was okay. She has purple hair tied into two puff-balls, golden hoop earrings, a blue shirt, and her legs are replaced by a purple ghostly tail- Puff**

Puff: Are you all right, hon?

Richie: What--? What happened?

Boom: Looks like we've got ourselves a human!

**A harpy-looking woman adorned in a purple halter-top and purple pants speaks up- Talon**

Talon: Does he have a metahuman brother? With that bone structure, and those soft eyes, just imagine!

**Hotstreak, a boy around Richie's age, maybe two years older, with red-orange hair, a red shirt, and brown baggy pants cuts through the crowd with a glass raised**

Hotstreak: A toast, then. **He wraps his arm around a girl made entirely out of water** To the newlyweds!

Bang Babies: To the newlyweds!

**At that word, Richie becomes even more confused**

Richie: Newlyweds?

Boom: Static, man. He doesn't remember?

**He hears a soft chucked and turns to the Bang Baby he saw in the woods, whose name, apparently, is Static**

Static: In the woods, you said your vows to me. They were amazing.  
**To show that he's telling the truth, he shows Richie his hand with the golden band around his finger**

Richie: l did?...l did...** He starts slapping and punching himself, believing this is all just a dream **Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

**He looks around, expecting to see his bedroom, but he's still in the same pub surrounded by Bang Babies**

**A new voice speaks up. A girl, kinda short with grey skin and black hair, wearing a yellow shirt under a red hoodie, and black jeans cuts through the crowd. Another noticeable feature is her sharp nails and that white Altean-looking mark under he right eye- Nails**

Nails: Coming through, coming through. **She stands before Richie  
**My name is Nails, l am the head waiter. l will be creating your wedding feast.

**Having enough, Richie looks around for a weapon, and notices a man with a purple Mohawk, a white shirt under a red short-sleeved jacket, and red pants whose right hand is replaced by a glowing purple blade. He grabs his right arm and uses it as his defense agasint these strange people**

Richie: Keep away! l've got a... Someone's arm. And l'm not afraid to use it! l want some questions. Now!

Boom: l think you mean ''answers", man.

Richie: Thank you, yes, answers! l need answers! What's going on here? Where am l? **He turns to Static** Who are you?

Static: Well, that's kind of a long story.

What a story it is.

**Nightingale, a girl no older than seventeen steps out from the shadows. She has purple hair, gold hoop earrings, glowing yellow eyes, and a red jumpsuit accompanied by a black belt and boots**

Nightingale: A tragic tale of romance, passion, and a scandal most foul.

Mirage: This is gonna be good!

Nightingale: Hit it, Boom.

**Boom opens his jacket to reveal a sound speaker embedded in his chest. Music begins to play from it. Nightingale and a few of her friends snap along before she begins to sing**

Nightingale: _Hey, give me a listen_

_Bang Babies of cheer_

_At least those of you_

_Who still kept your ears_

_I'll tell you a story_

_Make even Kangor cry_

_Of our own jubiliciously_

_Handsome Static Shock_

**The spotlight shines on Static. Everyone in the pub starts singing along with Nightingale**

Bang Babies: _Bang, bang, it happened to us_

_But don't wear a frown_

_Because it's really okay_

_You might try and hide_

_And you might try and pray_

_But we'll all end up_

_Bang Babies one day_

**Nightingale takes over and pulls Static up to the stage**

Nightingale: _Well, Virgil was handsome and loved_

_Known for miles around_

_When a mysterious stranger_

_Came into town_

_She was plenty good-looking_

_But down on her cash_

_And our poor dear Virgil_

_He fell hard and fast_

_When his pops said no_

_He just couldn't cope_

_So our lovers came up_

_With a plan to elope_

**The pub joins in again**

Bang Babies: _Bang, Bang, it happened to us_

_But don't wear a frown_

_Because it's really okay_

_You might try and hide_

_And you might try and pray_

_But we all end up_

_Bang Babies one day_

**The lights go out, with a few candles still lit as everyone starts dancing. Watching Hotstreak lead the slender girl made entirely out of water in a waltz, and Talon being twirled by a hulking figure with purple skin in orange hair, Richie's attention in taken by Static who dips him without warning. As they danced, Richie started to feel something between him and the boy, but then he remembered Frieda, and tried hard not to be drawn to him, and his dark chocolate brown eyes, that charismatic smile, and those gorgeous cheekbones... His thoughts, not mine**

**Nightingale continues the story**

Nightingale: _So they conjured up a plan_

_To meet late at night_

_They told not a soul_

_Kept the whole thing tight_

_Now, his father's wedding tux_

_Fit like a glove_

_You don't need much_

_When you're really in love_

_Except for a few things_

_Or so I'm told_

_Like the family jewels_

_And a satchel of gold_

_Then next to the graveyard_

_By the old oak tree_

_On a dark foggy night_

_At a quarter to 3:00_

_He was ready to go_

_But where was she?_

Bang Babies: And then?

Nightingale: He waited

Bang Babies: And then?

Nightingale: There in the shadows, was it the girl?

Bang Babies: And then?

Nightingale: His heart was beating so loud!

Bang Babies: And then?

Nightingale: And then, baby... Everything went black...

_Now, when he opened his eyes_

_He had a new form and clothes_

_His jewels and girl were missing_

_There were cans of quantum vapor_

_So he made a vow_

_Hanging by that tree_

_That he'd wait for his true love_

_To come set him free_

_Always waiting for someone_

_To take as his love_

_Then out of the blue_

_Comes this groovy young man_

**The crowd members push Richie into Static's waiting arms, and he brings him into a warm embrace, which later turns to electrifying as Richie gets shocked by his powers, chasing his hair stands up on its ends. Some would be freaked out, but Richie actually liked it. But he still remembered Frieda. He had to get out of there**

_Who vows forever_

_To be by his side_

_And that's the story_

_Of our Static Shock!_

_Bang, Bang, it happened to us_

_But don't wear a frown_

_Because it's really okay_

_You might try and hide_

_And you might try and pray_

_But we all end up_

_Bang Babies one day!_

**While everyone was wrapped up in the song, Richie escaped the pub without being detected**


End file.
